What do you want to be when you grow up? It’s a question we have been asked a lot since we were kids. With the most innocent mind and no social conditioning, we gave an answer that we truly wanted to be- Superman, Barbie, Doctor, Lawyer, Truck Driver, Craftsman, musician, policeman or anyone who truly inspired us. The world was our oyster. Little feet walking and running around were ready to conquer the world. Then what happened when we grew up?
We started becoming what others wanted us to be. Our parents had their own agenda in mind for us since the day we were born. Some of the times they listened to what we wanted. Most of the times they didn’t. They had their own dreams and desires that they threw upon us to fulfill. They had their own vision for us. But they forgot that we have our own vision too. Our own dreams which didn’t match theirs. What would the world say if you choose unconventional careers in art, music or acting and fail?
We will anyways fail at what we don’t want to do, might as well take a chance on what we love to do.
Apart from parents emotional compelling, we form our own belief systems too. Things we hear or experience while growing up becomes such a strong part of our subconscious system that we start living it.
“Life is always tough”, “You need to work really hard to become successful”, “You were born poor and would die poor”, “You don’t look pretty so guys wont like you”, “You are not smart enough or good enough to do this”, “You are an immigrant so you would have to struggle” and much more social chatter goes on around us.
We start believing it so much that without even realizing it, it starts directing our lives. Our subconscious mind plays a big role in shaping our personality. We embody someone else’s fears and judgments so much and we start becoming a living version of it.
Society also defines our roles. You have to behave a certain way and have certain personality traits and if you don’t, you don’t belong to the tribe. A woman should be timid, quiet, obedient, caring, selfless person and not have a mind of her own and a man should be adventurous, ambitious, bold, driven and have a strong take charge personality. Who defines these rules and why are we blindly following it? Since childhood parents’ start molding us based on these definitions and we become it.
Why are we becoming what we don’t want to be? Why are we being victims of these social conditionings?
As a little girl, I constantly heard from my parents that I am behaving badly because I reply back to my elders (who say whatever they want to and always cross their boundaries) and I should always respect them no matter what. I was constantly being moulded to become a socially acceptable ideal daughter and was never accepted for who I was.
Life is not about becoming but about unbecoming.
Isn’t it suffocating to live a life someone else defined for you? We need to be who we are and strip these social conditionings away. We are all created unique so why try to be the same? Why can’t we appreciate each other’s uniqueness without judging it? We are all born with unique gifts and we are here to use those gifts and create a better world. If we are all doctors then who will be a nurse or a janitor? Why is being a nurse or a janitor considered below being a doctor? They are all caregivers in their own way.
Unbecome what the world turned you into and find yourself.
Find who you really are and what makes you happy. Be angry, speak your mind, wear whatever you want, spoil yourself, do whatever your heart desires. Uncondition yourself and rise in your self worth. Don’t limit yourself and achieve everything the society told you couldn’t.
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